Why I am not Jumping on #metoo

When I was 5 and 6 I was molested by a neighbor for about a year, and when I was 13 I was raped. These events drastically changed my life and affected my worldview. These men were never caught and never convicted. They were free to do this to others. Sadly my story is not unique, millions of women and men have been victims of sexual predators; their innocence and trust stolen. The horror doesn’t stop when the assault is over; the effects are far reaching creating issues for many years, most for life. Consociations change, many go on to broken relationships believing they are unworthy of love. Their self-esteem is shattered. A lot face mental health issues such as PTSD, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and more. There have been links to physical illness like IBS, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and PCOS. You may be thinking these illnesses are all in someone’s head; you would be horribly wrong. The trauma isn’t just emotional, it is experienced on a cellular level. The body remembers. So why am I not posting #metoo on Facebook, Instagram, or other social media sites?

I suppose in some ways it is a protection. I don’t want to loosely mention my molestation or rape. I don’t want people to gloss over it and continue on their way. People need to pay attention. They must if we have any hope of stopping it. I don’t want this issue to become watered down or unimportant. I don’t want people to look at my post and roll their eyes or think oh another one. I also don’t want it brushed aside. Please don’t misunderstand, I proudly stand by those women and men that are bravely posting #metoo. You see, it isn’t easy to come forward and tell people that you’re a victim, it’s incredibly difficult to open yourself up and to be that vulnerable. I commend those men and women; they are incredibly courageous. It is critical that we bring attention to the issue, but with that attention there needs to come action. What can we do to stop this?

Obviously we need to punish sexual predators, but it goes deeper than that. We have to change our culture. When you see someone demeaning a woman or a man sexually, we must speak out and let them know it is not okay. We have to stop looking at people as objects and look at them as human beings. We all bleed red, are all human beings regardless of race, sex, or religion. As a culture we absolutely have to stop blaming women for their rape because their skirt is too short or they are showing too much cleavage. I don’t care if a woman walks down the street naked, if she says no it means no! We also must make it okay for women and men to speak out about their assault without fear of retribution. How many women are raped on college campuses every year but they are too afraid to come forward? How many men have been sexually assaulted but they are afraid to come forward because they will be seen as unmanly? Even in 2017 there is still stigma attached to sexual assault. If you see something, speak up! Harvey Weinstein abused women for years. How many people knew what was happening and didn’t speak up? How many women could have been saved if they did? Please stop and listen, to your brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, parents, and fellow human beings who have been victimized. You may be shocked to hear what they have to have to say.