#Tip Tuesday – Teens Starting School

Many teens are starting school this week. Every year, the beginning of the school year can bring about anxiety in your child, but this year has been especially hard. 

Suicide rates among teens are highest at the start of school, during finals, and at the end of the school year. It is essential to keep an extra close eye on your child during these times, but don’t despair, there is hope. Here are a few things to watch out for and some tips to help you and your teen.

1. Talk with your child. It can be scary to talk to your child about mental health, but it is necessary. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just let them know you love them and ask how they are doing. Tell them about some of your worries and make sure they know it is safe to talk about issues that are worrying them. 

2. Listen without judgment. This is critical. As parents, we may feel some shock when talking with our teens about their worries, and we may want to start listing out the ground rules, don’t immediately. This is the time your child needs to feel safe. If your child is engaging in unsafe behaviors, you can address that after speaking, but do so without judgment. I’ve seen too many teens close off and stop talking, and the opportunity is lost. The adage says you have one mouth and two ears for a reason, use them in that proportion. 

a) Do not interrupt, and please do not start lecturing, that can be a sure-fire way to get them to close down. 

b) Listen with empathy. For example, if your teen is sharing about a friend that is cheating on their schoolwork, your first response may be to tell them what a horrible friend they are, resist that urge and instead maybe say something along the lines of “that must be really tough to see that.” “How does that make you feel”? This gives your child a chance to explain without the fear of judgment. Besides, until you have the full story, you may not completely understand the issue. 

c) Sometimes teens don’t need you to be right; they may not require you to tell them what they should do; all they may need is you to listen. 

3. You do not have to have all of the answers. One of the most important skills you can learn is listening, again, sometimes that may be all your child needs, but if your child asks you a question that you don’t have the answer for, that is OK. It may be the perfect opportunity for you to learn together. It can also be useful to let your teen know that you are worried or scared as well. All of us are facing uncertainty with the Corono]avirus, and it’s useful for your kid to see that you are also afraid, but reiterate that you love them and that you are going to get through this as a family. 

So, what are some signs that your teen may be in trouble? Let’s go over four of the most common.

1. Isolation. This is especially worrying if your child is isolating more than they usually would.

2. Unexplained Rage. Many people don’t realize, but rage in teens can be a sign of depression and anxiety.

3. Loss of interest in activities that once brought joy. For example, if your child typically loves to play baseball, and they are no longer interested in playing baseball, this may be a warning that something is wrong. If your teen enjoys crafting or if they care about their appearance, and all of a sudden, they stop wanting to do crafts or are no longer worried about how they look, this can be a sign that your teen may be struggling. 

4. Change in sleeping habits. Your child might be sleeping too much or not sleeping enough. Our kids are growing, and it can be perfectly normal for them to sleep longer hours during part of the year, especially during a growth spurt, but a sign that something may be off is when these sleeping habits become abnormal, and they are sleeping far too much or not enough. 

These are just a few tips and tricks that can help you help your teen. For a more in-depth list of signs and symptoms, please visit our website at https://thejemfoundation.com/suicideprevention/.

And for more ways to help your child visit https://thejemfoundation.com/parentsupport/.

For an excellent article on talking with your teen, please visit https://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/talk_with_your_teen.