We often think of suicide victims as people struggling with depression and anxiety. Over 90% of those that die by suicide have an underlying mental illness, but there is another population at great risk: the chronically ill. Living with chronic illness and for some patients, chronic pain, takes a toll, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. The suicide rates for those struggling with chronic conditions are unknown, but it is believed that they are over two times more likely to die by suicide than those without. So, what can we do?

  1. Listen. I can’t stress this enough. Many people suffering from chronic conditions have been to multiple doctors. In many instances, the doctor doesn’t believe the patient or refuses to listen. This is especially common for female patients. Physicians will recommend a counselor or prescribe an anti-depressant presupposing it is imagined or “all in the patient’s head”. It can take years to get properly diagnosed and during this time family members may assume a mental condition and not a physical one as well. This creates a sense of isolation and frustration.
  2. Believe them and don’t try to fix them. Out of love, you may want to rattle off the things they could be doing to help their condition but resist the temptation. I guarantee they already know about it.
  3. Check-in with them. Call or text and ask how they are doing; for no other reason than to check on them.
  4. Visit with them. Chronic illness can make it difficult to go out. Bring some food and watch Netflix, or play a game. It will mean the world to them.
  5. Be flexible. Understand that plans may change. Illness can make it difficult to go out, it may also mean the person may need to cancel plans, possibly even last minute. Be understanding when it happens. They will be grateful.
  6. Prepare a meal for them. It shows you care and will also save them from having to expend energy on cooking for the day.
  7. Be present. I had a pastor once tell the congregation to “sit in the dirt” with people. Sometimes all a person needs is for someone to just be there with them.
  8. Show them and tell them how much they mean to you, and to the world. Oftentimes chronically ill patients see themselves as worthless. They are not, and they may need you to remind them of how truly special they are.

Living with chronic illness can seem unbearable at times, but being there for the person struggling can mean the difference between life and death, literally.